Thanks for the compliment!!!

Interview

With A Nut

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CB: Hello, is this Canadian Bulldog?
 
CB: No.
 
CB: Excellent! Question number...
 
CB: No, wait. Actually, it is Canadian Bulldog.
 
CB: I thought I was Canadian Bulldog. Now I'm confused...
 
CB: I bet you're here to ask me about my new book, aren't you?
 
CB: Book?
 
CB: Thanks for the compliment!!!
 
CB: Question number one: what's the name of your shitty little book?
 
CB: Thanks for the compliment!!!
 
CB: You're welcome, you sexy thing, but what's the name of the book?
 
CB: Thanks for the compliment!!!
 
CB: Who's on first?
 
CB: Exactly.
 
CB & CB: Third base!
 
CB: LOL! So why should people be buying your book?
 
CB: Mostly to support my expensive drug habits. But also, its a good laugh.
 
CB: Question number three: what's so funny about it?
 
CB: The production values, for one thing. This book is self-published, so it will probably look like a three-year-old put it together.
 
CB: Hahahahahahahahaha!

CB: Actually, that's not entirely true. They have to be at least 6 to work in the sweatshop that produced this.
 
CB: Question number four: How did you get noted columnist Jeb Tennyson Lund to write a foreword to your book?
 
CB: Two words: compromising photos.
 
CB: Question number five: What is it that makes this an early nominee for the Pulitzer Prize?
 
CB: You have to read the book to find out. It's on page, uh, 54. In very small type.
 
CB: Finally, I wanted to ask you if you would consider autographing my copy of the book?
 
CB: NO! This interview... is OVER!!! (hangs up)
 
CB: He seems much taller than he appears on television.